My Angel

Most of my post have been a little DOWN the last few weeks....so I am going to try something a little different today.  I am going to tell you about one of the biggest blessings that I have EVER been presented with.

My Angel, my Alex....and she is just that, an absolute angel.  She is so kind hearted, so loving.  She has been my joy, my heart since the moment they laid her in my arms.

I, personally, am not a believer in abortion.  I believe that there is always a better option...for Mom and Baby.  But I actually had to face that decision head-on when I was pregnant.  I was young (not as young as some, but still very young) and on a very poor life track when I found out that I was pregnant.  I grew up with a very Conservative family, so for me, having her was the only choice.  Until one day, my doctor called to inform me that there was a 99% chance that she would be born with Downs Syndrome.  I was terrified.  I was too young to have a baby, much less one with special needs.

I cried for hours upon hearing the news.  Now, as an adult, I know the test they formed their information on has a high volume of false positives.....but at my age, I didn't realize how wrong it could be.  The doctor set up genetic testing and counseling so that I could explore all my options with the right information.  However, after some soul searching, despite my fears, I knew I could never give up this precious gift growing inside of me.  So, I canceled the test & the counseling and continued on with the life I had in front of me.

And my, oh, my, how glad I am to have made that decision.  Because in June 2000, I gave birth to a healthy beautiful baby girl.  I have her the name Alexandra Renee.  I chose Alexandra, because I always had an obsession with a little girl named Alex since that Nick show Alex Mack was popular...I thought there was nothing cooler than a little girl with the name Alex!  Her middle name Renee, I picked that based on the meaning.....Reborn, Born Again.  I felt that she was my chance at a new life, to pick up from all the craziness of my teenage years and move on as a Mother, an Adult.

I was blessed with a very docile little girl.  She came home from the hospital sleeping a good 6 hours a night, I did NOT realize at the time just how lucky I was (now, the three others....not such good sleepers as toddlers, but still GREAT newborn sleepers)!!

As Alex has grown up, she has always been my anchor in life.  The thing that has always kept me grounded.  Don't get me wrong, I still messed up...I still am not perfect, not a perfect Mom or a perfect human in general.  But she has always given me hope, that I can rise above all the problems that arise in daily life.  She is a shining beacon, and I am grateful everyday that God saw fit to give her to me.

My angel has been through so many heartaches, so many changes in her short life.  Yet, she continues to go through life with a huge smile and goodness in her heart.  She is always happy, she is always giving.  She is the type of girl who will give you the shirt off her back, shiver in the cold, and yet NEVER complain about it......

I remember one time (recently actually), we went out for lunch. We grabbed lunch for all of us girls.  Somehow, we ended up with one less drink than the five of us needed (Dad was not there).  As I was busy feeding the baby, Alex got to work on passing out lunch.  She didn't even bother speaking up, she just sat down to eat.  A few minutes later, she looks at me with the sweetest doe eyes and asked "Mom, I hate to ask, but I am really thirsty...could I have a small sip of your drink?"  I was devastated.  I felt so bad that I had not bought enough, but even more so that she was so willing to give her drink to her little sister and never complain that she was going without.  I don't know, it may not seem like a sweet story, but that is my Alex....a girl who never complains when she is short changed...who never asks for anything she doesn't really need.  I love her, I love her for everything she is and everything she will grow to be.

She is an amazing sister to her three little sisters.  As all siblings do, there are fights...but man, she really loves those girls. The good times seem to out-number the bad.  I hope and pray that their relationships will continue to thrive over the years, because sisters are your friends for life.....I love my sisters and can't imagine NOT having them in my life!!

She is a style diva.....This girl does NOT care what anyone thinks of her.  She wears what she wants, even when I am cringing letting her out in public....but she is an original, one of a kind and I love her for that.  I want her to be herself, I want her to stand out and I am proud to my the full of my inner core that she is just that.  I would love to take the credit for raising her that way....but I think that I had nothing to do with it....she is who she is.

The only thing I am not so proud of....Look at that dark baby of mine....she makes me look even whiter than I already am....if that is even possible!!!
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She is a water baby!!  She used to demand 2-3 baths a day.....but with my OCD, I didn't mind (Cleanliness is next to Godliness..right?!?).  Until one day, when she was only 2.....I know something happened to her in daycare, we just aren't 100% sure what.  One day she loved to take baths and the next she was literally clawing at the door jam and screaming when I tried to give her one.  She was terrified.  Eventually, she got comfortable enough to take baths again....but it took us until she was 5 years old before she would get back in a pool.  Still, she clung to the sides for dear life the entire time.....and if anyone came near her (Me or Dad included), she would scream bloody murder and run out!!  Finally, when she was 8, we talked her into swimming lessons.....it wasn't until her second year (at 9) that she finally felt comfortable enough to get in and swim on her own....thanks to the pool manager Dawn giving her some one on one lessons.  Now, you can NOT keep her out of the water on warm days....hence the tan!!!

My husband and I are truly blessed with this gorgeous girl.  Now, we are just praying that she stays this way with her teen years rapidly approaching.  I can't imagine seeing her as anything other than this sweet, loving angel of mine.....but we all know how my teens turned out, right Mom?!?!  Hehe!!  I mean, don't get me wrong....she can have an attitude, but if what we have seen is only a tenth of it, I count my lucky stars.  So here she is, my Angel on her first day of Middle School...6th grade!!  Gorgeous, Daddy is already cleaning his guns waiting for the boys to come knocking!!!

I have so much to say about my Angel Alex.....but it would take a book to write it all down :)  She is truly AMAZING!!